Looking for light at the end of the tunnel


Last weekend we celebrated Salt House’s 10th birthday in Cairns – it was loadsa fun! I met some nice new peeps and danced the night away. Loving life!

Snap back to reality this week and I’ve accepted that I’ve hit a sore point in myself again, where I am questioning absolutely everything. The countdown is closing in on me applying for my PR (Permanent Residency) in July – I will be eligible to apply at that point as I would have completed 6 months working in Queensland.

I’ve been doing a lot of research and reading around and there is soooo much paperwork you have to complete to put your application through. Initially I have to submit an EOI (Expression of Interest). If that goes well I then get ‘Invited’ by the State (Queensland) to apply for the PR visa. I cannot simply apply. Strictly by invite only! 

It will also cost me around $6,000 to apply – of course I have been saving for this but as you can imagine; going for PR is no cheap (or simple!) task. You gotta really, really want it!

In order to even be considered you need to have a minimum of 65 points – these points are calculated depending on your experience in your field, your age, your standard of English etc etc.

Before leaving Sydney I had meetings with a visa agent who advised me my points score was ”The highest they had ever seen”. They were a leading immigration agency in the Sydney CBD, so to hear this from them was no small thing. They advised they saw no problem with me getting accepted once the time came to me applying.

This is all well and good but now I am in the final stages I am starting to get more and more internally stressed out about it all; What if I don’t get invited? What if I don’t get accepted?? What if I do get invited and it takes a year to come through??? 

I’ve been in the hamster-wheel for my visa status enough times to know that once I am in that funnel I check my emails every day, each time with a glimmer of hope that the ‘Visa Approved’ message will be sitting in my inbox from the Australian Government.

… if/ when my application is in I will be living on the actual edge. Every. day.

Securing my PR is my final hurdle in achieving what I have been working towards since May 2014. Since that fateful day in Bondi Beach when I straight-up had a lightbulb moment I’ll never forget and decided there and then ‘‘I am going to make my life here” I have been working towards getting my PR.

I have accepted (and left) various jobs, on purpose, on route. All with the end goal in mind – my security to stay in Australia permanently.

If you have been through the doldrums on your visa journey you will be familiar with what I am discussing here. It is the best and worst thing; best because there is light at the end of the tunnel / worst because it’s out of your hands to some degree. As July nears closer I feel like time has stopped still recently, but of course I know this is not the case!

I am still finding I miss so much of Sydney, it’s a daily ache that part of me is getting used to living with. It may sound ridiculous (but it’s truer than true!); I miss Sydney more than I ever missed the UK.

Legit, it feels like I went through a break-up when I left there and the hurt still hurts. I have not felt 100% myself once since I left Bondi. Looking back over almost 6 months since then is a longgg-ass time not to feel yourself in your own skin.

Cairns is a growth phase. Growing to feel comfortable with feeling uncomfortable I think. Every day I have to self-talk myself into submission to do my best, try my best and be my best. Whatever ‘my best’ is, know that I am constantly trying.

As before; I know I am in Cairns because I am meant to be here and I keep reminding myself of that fact. As Kim Kardashian says ”I am where I am meant to be”.

I am working on some really cool new content pieces for work, which is great to get stuck into. I LOVE creating content and love it when I work with people who have ideas that make me think ”WOW – YES!”. Luckily, I have found a team – Phlip Vids – who definitely tick the creative boxes I am looking for. They are based here on the ground in Cairns, so it makes it easy to get ideas turned into action asap!

I haven’t been to the gym this week and in-case you haven’t noticed, YES I have put on weight. I feel icky and fine at the same time. I know I’ll never be overweight but also, knowing I have put on a kg or 2 reminds me it’s because I am out of sync; that’s not cool.

If I am not working out it’s because something is up. I am going tomorrow. Back to it again. Hopefully I can pull myself out of my funk.

I felt dizzy last Friday and Saturday and have felt weird a few times this week so am looking at my diet and trying not to freak out too much. See how I go the next couple of weeks!

I went Sky Diving with Tandem Cairns yesterday – it was awesome!!! Pics to follow soon – it really was surreal. I felt a bit fuzzy after the free fall but honestly I don’t know if it’s because being dizzy this week has scared me a bit so I am over-reading into every feeling I feel … I feel fine as I write this post! Sky Diving is an absolute must do. I saw a rainbow during the free fall!

It’s Mother’s Day here in ‘Straya today – I cannot thank my Mum enough for everything. I think about her every day. Even though we only see each other a couple of times year I always have so many good thoughts and positive words from her in my mind.

Love my Mum! I’ve never seen her down. I literally have no memories of growing up, or in recent years of her being negative or down in the dumps about anything, ever and I really admire her for that (and so many other things too of course!). Love you Mum! 💕


The closest I’ve been (so far;) to being a Mum is with this ol’ girl Holly. Check her out chilling and getting spoiled back home in the Welsh sun today. I love this pony with every fibre of my being and being sent pics of her makes me feel warm inside. I just love her. Check out her Road-Runner blaze. And that mane – same as mine when I’m blonde!

This Thursday I am off to Bali to see my family and then spend a few extra days adventuring with my friends. I am so excited! No falling in love this time lol, strictly family and friends 😉

As the saying goes ”Bali is always a good idea”. Cannot wait!

Thank you for reading – whatever makes you tick do it! … Do what feels good for your body, mind and soul!!

Have a great week ☺️


*Main pic thanks to Toby Stanley 📸


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