“I don’t wanna go home” … You blocked me?! … dark times and beyond …

Sitting writing this on my phone while watching trash TV with a bestie …

It’s a chilling, Good Friday over in Perth 🙌

Few things I wanted to cover from the last couple of weeks …

#1 BUT I DON’T WANNA GO HOME

I was recently messaged and asked “When was the last time I went home?” … The sender hadn’t been back to their home City for 10 years (and felt “bad” about that fact).

My feelings on going home; if you live on the other side of the world it is highly unlikely that you are going to go home much. Maybe every couple of years. Maybe not even that.

I haven’t been back to Wales in 3 years. Sure, I’d LOVE to visit but it’s not that simples.

Many moving parts come into how often you can get home;

  • Money! (have you got a spare $4k knocking around?) … Flights alone will cost you roughly $2k
  • The amount of holidays you get around your job in your current country have to be factored in
  • If you do that big trip back it will prevent you from doing any other big adventures!
  • Do you really want to travel 4 days out of 2 weeks (to be jet lagged the whole 10 days in the middle?) #jetlagisreal #veryreal 😩
  • If your family “need” to see you perhaps they could make the effort, start saving and make plans to come stay with you one day instead? It ain’t all on you kid … plus come on, wherever you are is so good you’re still there so surely they gotta see it in all it’s glory too?! 🤩
  • Once you’ve been away for a long time you do become somewhat detached from your hometown – in my opinion you need to do this to be happy where you are. If you cling on to “what used to be” all the time you’re just wasting time looking back to a life your destiny took you away from
  • Don’t go home because you think you “should”, go solely because you WANT to – if you are not fully set on (and super excited!) about a visit what’s the point???
  • Pleaseeeee don’t feel “bad” or guilty – I’ve been through sooooo many rounds of guilt trips since leaving the UK (and seriously considered moving home at one stage – to the point of quitting a job where I was earning a fortune in Sydney to start arranging the next steps! 😳) … all because I thought I “should” be at home. I was not looking at the big picture back then … IMAGINE what I would miss out on had I actually gone home. Errrr, no. Just no 🙅‍♀️

In short; if you are happy where you are just enjoy it! Things might happen one day where you have to move home – you might have no choice!

You really don’t know how things are going to pan out or where you’ll end up.

Live your life for you, for now!

#2 BYE BYE I BLOCKED YOU. HI AGAIN???

Early this year I blocked loads of people off my social accounts.

I had hundreds (and hundreds) I didn’t know / knew I’d never see again / if I did see them we would probably have a very brief exchange because while we might be “Facebook friends” we weren’t close in offline, real life …

This is no big deal and my social page clean up wasn’t a direct action against anyone in particular, it was a mass tidy.

I received a message through my blog page from someone I had removed and it made me think – just because you don’t think you’ll see someone again in real life doesn’t necessarily mean you need to cut them out online too.

Evidently; I was too quick to cut-out in some cases. It’s nice to check in with people who were once important to you.

It’s so easy to wipe people out online but they’ll always be a part of your history – part of what makes you who you are.

… Highlighting this as a gentle reminder; if you ever go through a de-friend or block phase – remember you might actually want to speak to them again in future.

Think before you press the button 😊

#3 SYDNEY I LOVE YOU MORE THAN I LOVE COOKIES FROM COLES BAKERY

All I need to say about my recent 6 nights in Sydney is; I absolutely LOVED every moment.

I felt like I couldn’t breathe deep enough to soak up every good vibe in Bondi and beyond!

Surfing, work meetings, parties, best friend reunions, running my fave sunrise route, Sydney boys, laughing ’til I cried, awesome shopping … the list goes on.

It was EPIC to be there. It was also great to get back to Cairns ☺️

It was the perfect trip – I can’t wait to get back again ASAP!

#4 IF YOU FEEL GOOD; LOOK AFTER THAT FEELING

Around 6 weeks ago I hit a day where I was suddenly like “I feel good “.

After seriously struggling with adjusting from leaving my beloved Bondi it honestly felt so good to feel good.

It had been months since I “felt like me”. It was weird but immediately familiar – Lara Lain was back in the room.

Since that day I have felt good every day. I feel myself, as I should feel. My humour is back. My passion. My buzz. Life is GOOD.

… It was good when I felt bad but I was struggling – it was an adjustment phase. I see that now 🙌

I am sharing this as I really feel “protective” of how I feel now. I never want to hit those depths again.

Of course it’s likely to happen one day for one reason or another but in the meantime I am doing everything I can to appreciate myself and life in general.

If you feel good enjoy it – if you feel shit just keep doing your best to get through each (legit just day-by-day is the trick!).

… Put on a front, get on with your life while making out like you’re “Ok” – because very soon you will be. BELIEVE! 🙌

#5 HORSES ARE THE BEST

I can’t stress enough how much having horses in my life makes me happy inside and out.

I see Nando & Nemo every morning and every evening – I’ll miss them while I’m in Perth but I’ll be back soon 😉

Animals are just the best! Especially horses – they make life feel magical 🥰

Thank you for reading – hope you have an EGGcellent Easter 🐣

Now it’s time to put my phone down and get back to more chill time ☺️

@LaraLain

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2 Comments

  1. Emmlain3b@gmail.co
    April 19, 2019 / 5:55 pm

    As always thoughtful and positive for now and the future
    Great read

    • laralain
      Author
      April 19, 2019 / 6:03 pm

      Thank you for reading 😊 Looking forward to whatever comes next! Happy Easter 🐣

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