Today I jumped my first ever Roof Jump (quickly followed by my second and third – it was that good!) …
First time around I crawled onto the roof laughing at myself “Who am I? Who made me? Why do I do this stuff?” – it was short-lived, bizarre self-talk where I questioned my own madness.
But that was just a lil’ fear popping up briefly to say “hello” … it quickly subsided as the buzz kicked in. 🙌
To describe my first ~roofy~ I’d say it was “peaceful”, it’s such an odd sensation … taking a running jump out into the unknown, hurtling down super-fast before you’re snapping back, sitting up in your harness and admiring the surreal views.
Those seconds on the snap-back I just felt really, really happy like “this is where I’m meant to be!”
It was a welcome feeling after weeks of inward unrest since I arrived into Cairns.
I’ve been doing a lot of ~frontin’~ and fighting myself since I got here on January 3rd.
I feel like today is hopefully the start of feeling more settled, more myself, somehow.
I admitted to myself yesterday that I miss my 7km sunrise coastal runs from Bondi to Clovelly, I miss surfing and I also miss just being surrounded by people all the time.
In Bondi I spent a lot of time of my own but there was always so many people about. Whereas where I have chosen to live right now in Cairns it’s super-quiet. I can easily not see anyone outside my work hours.
I’ve been doing a lot of rattling around and soul-searching.
This isn’t me complaining – it’s just stark reality.
However, as I previously mentioned; I’ve been keeping quiet to save money – so part of this steadier life is my own choice.
There is alotta LIFE out there in Cairns – it’s known for being a crazy little party city (complete with Goldfish racing – yes really!) but I’ve been living a new way.
But again, to be completely clear; just because you’re doing something you want to do, doesn’t always make it any easier!
… I’ve given myself such a hard time lately about pretty much everything under the sun and we all know knocking yourself is never a good thing. Ever.
99% of the time I am the happiest most go-lucky person I know. And that’s how I love to live – loving life! Because life is amazing!
When I find things hard, get upset, feel I’m doing the “wrong thing” or I’ve “made a mistake” I find myself my hardest critic – whereas if my friends or loved ones worried about similar things I’d be the first one to their immediate (and force-like!) defence.
You only live once, you legit have nothing to worry about, you’re just learning, tomorrow will be a better day – you’re actually an amazing person (moreso than you know!) and I’m so happy you’re in my life etc etc #rainbows #love #morerainbows #morelove … 🌈❤️
And I would mean every word of the above and more.
I feel like I’ve opened my eyes a bit wider today. Cairns is going to be a huge learning curve for me and I look forward to becoming a better human (for myself, for everyone I cross paths with and for the world!) as a result. 🌎
Feel the fear, in your heart (or your mind!) and just push through it anyway! 🤙
… What can you do except go about your day trying your absolute best – as I always say; if you try your best it’s the best you can do! 💯
Fear has worn many faces for me recently but the more I jump the more I am realising ~if you can harness your fears it’s a f**king epic feeling!~
So yeah, take from this what you will but know; just because I am fear-less and I get crazy jumps done and live in a Tropical Paradise 🇦🇺 … it doesn’t mean I’m not working on other fears too.
This is not a pity-party post, it’s a reflection on weeks gone by and being grateful for feeling like my ~me~ is coming back!
Lara Lain isn’t Lara Lain when she’s not smiling!
If you don’t have roofs to jump off to lift your spirits I hope you have something around you that will help you in a similar way – find what makes you feel ALIVE and do more of that!
BIG UP to my job at AJ Hackett Cairns and the awesome people I am so lucky enough to be working with as part of the crew / AJ family / friends.
Huge couple of days ahead in work. We’re in the middle of some exciting video and photo shoots! Hurray! Let’s do it!
Thank you for reading – have a great week ahead ☺️