Today I jumped my first ever Roof Jump (quickly followed by my second and third – it was that good!) …
First time around I crawled onto the roof laughing at myself “Who am I? Who made me? Why do I do this stuff?” – it was short-lived, bizarre self-talk where I questioned my own madness.
But that was just a lil’ fear popping up briefly to say “hello” … it quickly subsided as the buzz kicked in. 🙌
To describe my first ~roofy~ I’d say it was “peaceful”, it’s such an odd sensation … taking a running jump out into the unknown, hurtling down super-fast before you’re snapping back, sitting up in your harness and admiring the surreal views.
Those seconds on the snap-back I just felt really, really happy like “this is where I’m meant to be!”
It was a welcome feeling after weeks of inward unrest since I arrived into Cairns.
I’ve been doing a lot of ~frontin’~ and fighting myself since I got here on January 3rd.
I feel like today is hopefully the start of feeling more settled, more myself, somehow.
I admitted to myself yesterday that I miss my 7km sunrise coastal runs from Bondi to Clovelly, I miss surfing and I also miss just being surrounded by people all the time.
In Bondi I spent a lot of time of my own but there was always so many people about. Whereas where I have chosen to live right now in Cairns it’s super-quiet. I can easily not see anyone outside my work hours.
I’ve been doing a lot of rattling around and soul-searching.
This isn’t me complaining – it’s just stark reality.
However, as I previously mentioned; I’ve been keeping quiet to save money – so part of this steadier life is my own choice.
There is alotta LIFE out there in Cairns – it’s known for being a crazy little party city (complete with Goldfish racing – yes really!) but I’ve been living a new way.
But again, to be completely clear; just because you’re doing something you want to do, doesn’t always make it any easier!
… I’ve given myself such a hard time lately about pretty much everything under the sun and we all know knocking yourself is never a good thing. Ever.
99% of the time I am the happiest most go-lucky person I know. And that’s how I love to live – loving life! Because life is amazing!
When I find things hard, get upset, feel I’m doing the “wrong thing” or I’ve “made a mistake” I find myself my hardest critic – whereas if my friends or loved ones worried about similar things I’d be the first one to their immediate (and force-like!) defence.
You only live once, you legit have nothing to worry about, you’re just learning, tomorrow will be a better day – you’re actually an amazing person (moreso than you know!) and I’m so happy you’re in my life etc etc #rainbows #love #morerainbows #morelove … 🌈❤️
And I would mean every word of the above and more.
I feel like I’ve opened my eyes a bit wider today. Cairns is going to be a huge learning curve for me and I look forward to becoming a better human (for myself, for everyone I cross paths with and for the world!) as a result. 🌎
Feel the fear, in your heart (or your mind!) and just push through it anyway! 🤙
… What can you do except go about your day trying your absolute best – as I always say; if you try your best it’s the best you can do! 💯
Fear has worn many faces for me recently but the more I jump the more I am realising ~if you can harness your fears it’s a f**king epic feeling!~
So yeah, take from this what you will but know; just because I am fear-less and I get crazy jumps done and live in a Tropical Paradise 🇦🇺 … it doesn’t mean I’m not working on other fears too.
This is not a pity-party post, it’s a reflection on weeks gone by and being grateful for feeling like my ~me~ is coming back!
Lara Lain isn’t Lara Lain when she’s not smiling!
If you don’t have roofs to jump off to lift your spirits I hope you have something around you that will help you in a similar way – find what makes you feel ALIVE and do more of that!
BIG UP to my job at AJ Hackett Cairns and the awesome people I am so lucky enough to be working with as part of the crew / AJ family / friends.
Huge couple of days ahead in work. We’re in the middle of some exciting video and photo shoots! Hurray! Let’s do it!
Thank you for reading – have a great week ahead ☺️
@LaraLain
OMG! WOW! My heart was racing just from reading this. This is awesome and a constant reminder to get out of your comfort zone and actually LIVE!!!
Author
Hey Jade! Thank you for taking time out to read and for your awesome comment! Say YES to life even when it’s not perfect 🙌
Lovely read Lar
Glad you are making most of your new chapter xx