Be your best friend in times of change

Lara Lain larasstory showjumper

2015 with my girl Holly, one of the faces I would love to see!

Today I had a long talk with my fabulous Mum about life in Cairns, how I was settling in etc. And we both agreed on the truth; no matter where you are in the world, no matter how beautiful, exotic or amazing it may appear on the surface; settling into a new place is hard.

I have come up to Cairns to relocate completely on my own. Relocating solo is not something which I feel I can say I have done in my 5 years of being out of the UK 🇬🇧

Those first couple of years, 2014 – 2016, travelling through Asia, Brazil, doing my farm work in the Australian outback, working contracts in Sydney etc was just one huge adventure. There were no firm ties. Although I did 5 – 6 months in some places it was generally a ‘’Go, go, go! Smashed this place! Next!’’ lifestyle ✈️

It was only when I returned back to Sydney in early 2016 that I can say I started to buckle down as I chased my career and the elusive golden ticket of my Permanent Residency.

Queenstown; I had planned to stay for a year but after 5 months I didn’t feel right so I simply quit my job, gave up my house and left. 

I also left Thailand after 4 months, when I hit a ‘’this isn’t me anymore’’ point. 

In general; my mindset and time of life was different then. I was living with the wind, doing what I wanted at that given time. So many steep learning curves but no regrets.

Also; when I moved to Sydney, Queenstown and even Koh Phi Phi in Thailand during those years, it was all with at least one friend waiting for me. 

I have said this often while I’ve been away but one friend is all you need to get started in a new place. When I first ever moved to London (direct from 4 years in Cardiff University), 11 or so years ago – my friend Nat was already there. She knew London and was a Godsend in helping me find my way in a city which easily swallows up (and spits out!) so many before they have really given it a fair crack. 

Here in Cairns I have my job to focus on, I have Cairns itself to soak in and am so lucky to have a genuinely nice crew surrounding me in work (the base for friendships to grow is there, which I am super grateful for) 🙏

I just wanted to share this as I know so many of us go through BIG changes over the years, changing jobs, changing cities, changing friendship groups – it’s all part of growing up’ and moving forward.

However exciting things might seem via Facebook, Instagram, my blog (and believe me; when you see me posting about how awesome Cairns is – those feelings are genuinely as real as can be) it doesn’t make a ‘’fresh start’’ any easier. 

Fresh starts are indeed a way to regroup and focus on what you really want out of life but how many people do you know who have done this at age 33? I only know me 😅 … it’s a rare situation to “start again, again” as you get that lil bit older

As a seasoned traveller you get used to adapting, changing your path for opportunities and living for the moment.

But you also start to miss the ‘’normal’’ things – I would love to be sat having a cup of tea with my Nan right now ☕️

As you go through change you have to constantly remind yourself; that you are doing things other people may never get the chance to do, that you have had doors open for you to make the most of. That you need to remain hugely thankful for everything and always be super grateful for where you are 🙌

I feel with the setup I have here (there really is nothing more I could ask for in terms of my location, my job, my work crew and my apartment) I am in the best position to give Cairns a good go! 

However, I am (daily) pining for things/ people that I wish could be here. There is something missing that I can’t shake off. This hasn’t happened to me so much over the years as it is now. I always saw missing people as a part of being awayand just slammed myself through it. 

So what can you do but ride it out? You gotta keep busy! Busy doing anything but dwelling. Read, watch a movie, workout, walk – anything to take the sting away.

When the going gets tough, the tough dig deep. Cairns is going to make me stronger than ever.

I find myself saying this to myself a lot lately; As life says ‘’I’ll make you happy, but first I’ll make you strong’’.

Don’t be fooled by the perfect life online. No one has a perfect life.

For real; it’s been a long weekend here and today (the third day) I was able to leave my suburb. The last two days it has rained so much the roads have flooded so adventures were a no go! It hasn’t rained so much since 1975 ☔️

I kept busy getting to know girls from work, checking out the local boat club, tidying my apartment etc, a fair bit of Netflix and a lot of Facetime to loved ones.

It’s ok to find things hard. It’s also ok to cry! … Sometimes you need to release whatever is going on inside you to reset your engine and feel brighter. 

Talk it out, find something (anything to keep you busy!) and take each day as it comes. 

After the rain comes the rainbow … 🌈

Thank you for reading. Have a positive week!

@LaraLain

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