I have looked forward to this weekend all week, with grand plans building daily in my mind of being “out surfing both days”.
In the week; I surfed the borrow board before work and further ignited the fire in my belly for that feeling of being in the water.
… So much so that I bought my first board. A 7’6” “softie / foamie”.
She arrived Friday and she’s red, of course. That day I woke up with Dua Lipa’s Hotter Than Hell song in my head so imma call her Dua! People name their cars right; my board is my official pride and joy, so she deserves a name too!
Alongside the board I picked up my first ever wetsuit today. As soon as I tried it on, I had that “Mine, this is mine” feeling. Purchase complete.
It’s 630pm as I write this and did I surf today? Did I ‘eck! Conditions were un-surfable. #nottoday ❌
I’d checked the Coastal Watch app before bed, secretly hoping I’d wake up to a “Go, go, go!” water situation. But nah.
So, as my morning plans changed with the wind (literally). So did my mindset. My excitement for the day dipped and instead I felt an all-too-familiar feeling of edgy-ness creeping up on me.
… I basically spent the first few hours of my morning feeling anxious. My chest was tight and I felt physically and mentally uncomfortable in myself.
If you know this feeling you know what I’m saying.
At first I couldn’t work out why I was in a funk. Then I realised this had happened before … it was stress coming out of my body.
Stress from a hectic five days in work. Now I had time to myself my body was dealing with what I’d been holding in all week.
Of course; when surfing was front of mind I was excited for that! Any stresses would have been a galaxy away had I hit the ocean. 🌊
… When that option was not possible it gave way to let a negative feeling out. My positive vibes had lost their direction as my day became a blank sheet of paper.
Luckily I had a definite way to kick the feeling to the curb – I went to a group training session at 11am with my PT and four other girls.
Getting it, working out with new people and high energy exercises almost immediately pushed my inner-crush to one side.
I left training feeling great, as I should do! And I went on with my day in a positive mindset.
I’ve shared this today to a address a few things;
#1 If you feel weird mentally, physical exertion is one of the absolute best things you can do for direct, beneficial effects.
#2 If you’re one for “holding things in” and pretending everything “is fine” like I am – it’s something to seriously consider addressing. Is there a way you can overcome whatever is weighing on your mind? Bottling things up is not good for you, not good at all … Look at me feeling physically ‘not right’ because of things in my mind. I need to find a way to get around this.
#3 Group activities will help you in times of need … I could have easily have gone running this morning. I expect I would have soon slumped back into feeling distressed, as I would have been running solo – therefore having too much time to think!
#4 If you can’t work out physically be sure to TALK to someone to literally get the feelings off your chest. A gentle conversation will help and there is no shame in feeling out of sorts – it happens to us all.
This was just three hours of feeling odd but it made me think of the bigger picture of how I’m living – we are always learning and adapting to what goes on around us.
This episode has reminded me I need to listen to my body and take care of myself.
If you ever find yourself in a similar situation or you’ve read this and related in some way; please listen to your body. It is trying to tell you something.
Thank you for reading 🤙
@LaraLain
