Wow! 2018 is upon us!
Happy New Year to you – I hope you are reading this with a fresh sense of hope as your new chapter starts!
I write this from my family sofa in Singapore, after going into the city to see the fireworks at midnight.
It chucked it down with rain the whole time but it was lovely to see in the New Year with my family, regardless of the weather, I was so grateful to be there with those that matter most.
I couldn’t let 2017 pass without a nod to what happened and why 2018 has to be different.
At the time I often didn’t know what I was dealing with but looking back now I feel I can write more openly as bridges have been crossed …
Jan – end of August 2017
Those 8 months, on the whole, were the most challenging of my life to date.
- I moved house 4 times – despite what I portrayed at the time, this was not a big adventure. This was a sign I was behaving off emotion. Lesson; don’t make big decisions on a whim. These silly choices bit me on the ass every time until things finally settled down (in October).
- I ended up in therapy for my mental health. I signed myself in to see a therapist after I had a huge meltdown after a minor argument with my family (so minor I don’t even remember what it was about now). I spent hours crying in my bed one morning and it raised huge alarm bells that I wasn’t coping with life very well – I needed help.
- (At times) I found my job suffocating and buckled under the surface. On the surface I saved face and said little. Lesson; holding back and ”just dealing with it” did me no favours. Never again.
- I left friends behind after going through various periods of feeling picked on (like I was back in high school! Yes really!), taken the micky out of and treated unfairly. I hit many points of feeling ”I would never do this to you” and realised that with that fact in mind we weren’t as close friends as I thought. Lesson; When things go sour, you just know – take it on the chin and move on as best you can.
- I gave money to people I was trying to help (stupidly; 3 times this year!) and it turned to shit every time. It is amazing how people will use you when they’re stuck and soon forget you were (very!) good to them when it suits them. Never again.
Life changed for the better when a few key things happened
Just before my 32nd birthday (end of August) I secured my new (current) home and job.
- I made a firm choice to start my new job a new person, I had taken myself out of therapy by then and made myself pretty much forget my old job issues and go in with a heart full of hope and a will to win, to be the best I could be.
- I took a step back on my social life and starting cutting down on drinking on weekends. I had stopped drinking for two months earlier in the year, while in full-on running training. This was a second go at pulling back as I didn’t want to risk having a fuzzy head come Mondays …
- Taking it back wasn’t enough. I didn’t feel right and I knew what I had to do. By November I was ready to fully give up drinking – so I did. The last time I drank was November 7th 2017.
- I took up meditating – this is something I want to really get into and master (for my health, focus and wellbeing) as best I can.
- I took up swimming – swimming in the ocean is amazing, I can’t believe I’d gone all these years in Sydney without doing this regularly – better late than never!
I managed to leave Sydney lots in 2017!
- Melbourne – visit to see my friend
- Perth – visit to see my friend and her beaut family
- Bundaberg – where I did my farming for my visa back in 2014, a trip full of memories!
- Tasmania – tied in with a Melbourne trip, my first time to Tassie – LOVED it!
- Abu Dhabi – surprise reunion with my family for a long weekend, after two years apart it was amazingggg and much needed. I didn’t realise how much I missed them until I saw them.
- Singapore – it’s been an amazing two weeks in my family’s new home city – Singers is fab. I LOVE IT!!!
- London – two weeks with work for training back in October, what a trip! LOVED every minute of it in both work and downtime catching up with many faces I had missed for two years or more.
- Running the Sydney Half Marathon – one of the best days of my life to date, I was so proud of my little body for carrying me all that way (in 2:04 hrs) and for my mind for coping with it all (this was during the time my meltdown was closing in on me)
- Winning ”Best Newcomer” award in work – ending 2017 on a huge high with this exciting award on the last day of work
- Giving up drinking once and for all – November 7th 2017 = one of the best decisions I will ever make in my entire life
Looking ahead to 2018
Honestly. For 2018;
I wish for health and happiness, for myself and for us all.
Last Christmas I partied so much I exhausted myself and admitted myself to the doctors once and also had an emergency doctor out to my house between Boxing Day and New Year!
It’s easy to shrug this off now as silly, childish behaviour but realistically my putting myself in such a concerning situation was a major warning sign for drastic life changes required.
… I started 2017 on the wrong foot, burning the candle at both ends with a body and mind that had reached an age and state where this just wasn’t working in my favour any more.
Althought 2017 started bumpy and it took some time to pull it all back in line, from August to now I have lived a very different life.
My main priority is my job, keeping fit and making plans with my family and close friends when possible.
Life has slowed down but at the same time it has also sped up! New things are exciting me!
It’s a different (healthier, happier) way of living.
I no longer have days where I ”hate myself” because I am hungover or riddled with guilt or anxiety over something I did/ didn’t do while under the influence.
I want to live a life going forward that leads by example.
I mean in terms of being kind, caring, hard working, focused, healthy and genuinely enjoying and appreciating each day.
Life goes really quick and we really don’t know what’s around the corner. There’s me saying 2017 was the ”worst so far” in some ways.
But who knows – it might be one of the best years ever when I look back in 10 years time.
It certainly WAS the best in many ways – since that end of August where everything started making sense.
Cheers to living gratefully, not wasting too much time on what may/ may not happen and living mindfully for the now.
I hope this year my writing provides you with inspiration and determination to be your best version of you (that’s exactly what I’ll be aiming for each day myself!)
I feel good things are going to happen in 2018. I wish you all the best and thank you for reading my blog.