I’ve written this post about ten times and not been happy with it; so what follows is the simple facts of what’s happened since Tuesday …
Tuesday evening: I went for a walk after work then came home and had a massive cry for no apparent reason. It was the big heaves, when you “can’t breathe” kinda crying.
It came out of nowhere but I soon realised it was because I felt “lost”, for want of a better word.
I spoke to my mum and best friend back home and realised that 1. Whatever my underlying problem was, it wasn’t the end of the my/ the world 2. I would work it out.
Wednesday: I woke up with a fresh resolve. Wherever those tears had come from, they had needed to be shed. Crying like that made me think “ENOUGH of this – I need to do something!”.
It was time to step things up a gear. To do more.
I realised that although I was currently living a life of doing good things: running, working, writing – I didn’t have any big goals beyond saving a bit of money over winter and running the Sydney half marathon.
I wasn’t pushing myself enough. I didn’t have anything else lined up to “make me proud of me”.
– A 14km run to test my fitness (nailed it!).
– Ignoring any idea of spending my weekend alone (I went to a friends birthday and had a great arvo with faces familiar and new).
– Opening doors with new friends (I met a girl who I’d previously only spoken to through my blog and Instagram. She’s a London girl too, we have things in common and now have plans for next weekend and beyond!).
– Investigating ways to spend my free time giving back to other people, we’re talking charity volunteering … I’m waiting to hear back on something I am really interested in getting involved in. Hopefully more on this to come soon!.
– The biggie: I am 99% sure I’m going to sign up the Sydney Maraton (which takes place in September). Planning to see how I fair with the half marathon in a few weeks and if I finish in good form I’ll sign up and get my intense training hat on.
It’s a work in progress to get back to what you regard is your “normal” when you don’t feel 100% but without the determination to make a change, you’re going to remain on the same track – or possibly dive head first down a more destructive one.
So yeah, that’s it!
This week I had a melt down and made some beneficial steps forward.
I’m genuinely excited about the charity work and the possibility of the Sydney marathon – let’s see what happens!
Thank You for reading.