*Written in Sydney – March, 2016
Follow Your Heart
”As soon as I got my record deal I got my own flat, I had wanted to move out since I was 13 – all I wanted to do was get high every day and write music in my own space – I couldn’t do that in my Mums house”.
… quoted from the documentary covering the life of fallen star, Amy Winehouse. I watched this for the first time last week and those words struck a chord with me as soon as she said them.
Amy knew what she wanted to do from the age of 13. Yeah sure, the masses won’t agree with ‘getting high every day’ but thats what she was about. She smoked drugs, she wrote music.
She ended up being a legend in her own lifetime, not for all the right reasons. She was one gone way too young but she always did what she wanted. That documentary triggered this post as it made me really think consider how my mind had been working over the last couple of weeks and how I have essentially been living during the past few months.
Don’t Hide From Yourself
As many of us are; I’m constantly surrounded by people from all different walks of life, ages 20 – 50 depending on whether I’m at home in my shared house in Bondi Junction or if I’m at work in the city, with a big team of high-flying, inspiring Sydneysiders.
I’ve always kind of thought it but I recently (finally) admitted to myself I lead a double life and in many ways I always have. It’s always been work hard / party hard. The party has often over-taken my life and in turn my work-balance has been tipped negatively perhaps. But do I regret that? Do I bugger.
I managed to keep my head above water and keep consistently smashing every career goal I have ever had out of the park. What would I have been without the party girl in me? More money-rich from working my ass off for sure. But as experience-rich? I doubt that very much. And that wouldn’t be me being me.
Listen To Your Inner Voice
I want to raise the issue of how important it is to not let yourself get lost with the thoughts of others. Half of me is really sensitive and takes in more than most people would ever realise, my memory is loaded and often I find myself replaying what others have said when perhaps to them it was just a passing comment or a careless text message.
The other half of me has no regard whatsoever for other peoples opinions; Whatever. I do what I want. I always have. This is ultimately the side of me that will always win through, maybe not immediately but I point blank refuse to let other people change my life (unless thats what I want too) in the end.
If ever in doubt, talk to someone you trust. A family member or friend or maybe someone you work with. Sometimes you need to talk things out to give yourself a bit of perspective. I have talked and talked and talked to my friends recently, to re-live memories and talk of life going forward. Sharing how you feel is nothing to be ashamed of and everyone should always have someone they can confide it.
Appreciate Every Day
Watching that documentary last week I realised that maybe (definitely) I had been trying to mask myself a bit. And for what? Everyone knows I love to burn the candle at both ends, that I find it really hard to say ‘no’ and I always want to have as much fun as I can. Why should that change? Why should I be trying to tone down such a big part of my personality because society (and some people) tell me to ”calm down”. While I appreciate you need to get the right balance in your life, it does you no good to cut out something you enjoy. Why would anyone ever want to be less of a part of themselves?
This weekend I threw caution to my thoughts and went out with my friends for an amazing day party, followed by a Sunday Funday and a nighttime party too. The Sunday night wasn’t the easiest by the end, knowing I had work I didn’t stay out too late but I went out and I loved it, it was was like I was reminding myself that you can have the best of both worlds. You can work hard and play hard. It’s more than acceptable to do both.
I’m kind of focusing on ‘partying’ vs ‘real life’ here because thats my best comparison for the thought I’m trying to share here. There is no need to oppress a part of you that you enjoy being. If it makes you happy do it.
I love running and go as many times as a week as I can. I hate wearing make up, so I avoid it as much as possible. I have some kind of weird phobia of cooking so only cook a meal until I get sick of it (current menu is veg cos cos, every.damn.day). I love writing and can only write when I feel really passionate about something. I love music and can’t get through a day without blasting something out to keep my spirits high. Bondi Beach is my favourite place in the entire world. I could go every day and never get bored.
What do you love? Do you ever feel like you are oppressing a part of yourself? Why do you do that? What are you achieving? Why aren’t you being true to yourself?
If the events of the last couple of weeks have reaffirmed anything for me, it is that we have to embrace every day of our lives, you really do not know what could happen tomorrow, tonight, in two hours.
No one can see into the future so while we’re here lets take a bit of a step back to look around and consider what we’re doing and why we’re doing it. If you’re not happy in your life, there is no time like the present to start making those steps towards a happier you.
If someone is holding you back, gently get rid of them. If your career prospects or travel plans have ground to standstill, ask yourself why and set your mind on getting where you need to be.
I’ve always lived with the ‘one life, live it’ kind of attitude, I don’t know where I get it from but if I’m not happy every day I find life confusing and I’m not quite sure how to handle it – life isn’t always easy but everyone is surrounded by great people, sometimes you just have to look around you. You might find the most unlikely friend that will make a massive impact on your life if you give them a chance.